Regret The Things We've Lost
by R8tedR
Summary: Some say, fates are decided before you are even born. Others say, fate does not exist. But for me, your fate is decided when you choose to accept it. And the name of my fate is, Peyton Sawyer.
1. Through the Eyes of Regret

_Some say, fates are decided before you are even born. Others say, fate does not exist. But for me, your fate is decided when you choose to accept it. And the name of my fate is, Peyton Sawyer._

_"So I won't hesitate no more, no more_

_It cannot wait, I'm sure_

_There's no need to complicate, our time is short_

_This is our fate, I'm yours"-Jason Mraz "I'm Yours"_

_Chapter 1: Through the Eyes of Regret_

_"We've had one chance to, take back, but over and over again_

_I'll clean your wounds tonight, so we can rewind it all 'till I come inside_

_I'll tear in two and never lie to you (cause you wouldn't take me home)_

_Your eyes are yet to be clear now (cause you want to take me home)_

_You were right and I wasn't listening (I never told you what you were missing)"-Saosin "I Never Wanted To"_

_Someday could have been today. Or Tomorrow. Maybe even yesterday. But as Lucas Scott lay on the rustled sheets that were dismantled on his bed, he wished…he hoped that this bed was the one where he let fate slip through his fingertips months before. Only this time, he would grip it as if God was reaching into his soul. Lucas felt his eyes becoming heavy, and slowly the ceiling that was spinning, all turned black. He was now asleep, and in this world, he would accept the word "someday."_

_A pounding at Lucas' bedroom door, welcomed his eyes back to reality. He slowly forced himself to a sitting position and rubbed his eyes. The pounding continued, only it was in his head. And then, again at his door. _

_"Luke? Luke, man wake up!" a voice proclaimed coming from the other side of the door._

_Lucas stood up, and finally made his way to open it. _

_"Nathan? What are you doing here in the middle of the night?" Lucas said in a raspy voice. _

_"More like middle of the day, unless you grew some fangs and live in a coffin." He said jokingly. "Speaking of the night, what happened to you last night?" asked Nathan. "You went outside for that phone call, but never came back."Nathan walked over to sit on the bed next to Lucas. _

_"It was….um….my mom calling to make sure Jamie got his birthday gift." Lucas said avoiding the real reason. _

_"Well that's funny, because Haley talked to your mom yesterday morning about that." Nathan said finally realizing who had called Lucas. _

_"Look man," Nathan said positioning his hands on the bed to stand up. But before Nathan could say anything else he felt something silky under his hand that was on the bed. "Uh..never mind Luke." Nathan said realizing what he was about to say was irrelevant due to the fact that Peyton and Luke weren't together anymore. "You should probably take a shower or something and maybe wash the bed sheets," Nathan said handing Lucas the piece of undergarment. "And I should probably go take a shower too, because who knows what happened in your bed last night." Nathan said. "If you want to forget her, Luke, meaningless sex is not the answer."_

_Lucas crashed back on his bed as Nathan walked out the door._


	2. Tears of Regret

_Chapter 2:__ Tears of Regret"_

_How the hell did we wind up like this Why weren't we able To see the signs that we missed And try to turn the tables _

_I wish you'd unclench your fists And unpack your suitcase Lately there's been too much of this Don't think it's too late _

_Nothing's wrong just as long as you know that someday I will _

_Someday, somehow Gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when (You're the only one who knows that) Someday, somehow Gonna make it alright but not right now I know you're wondering when."-Nickelback "Someday"_

_She could have said anything, but someday. It just seemed so unsure….what if someday turned in to never? What if Lucas decided someday wasn't okay? She wanted to believe that their love could withstand anything, and that he would wait for her._

_"God, why didn't I just say yes?" Peyton said aloud, while sorting through some band applicant files at "Red Bedroom Records." She picked up one and started to read it, but immediately moved onto the next._

_Peyton sighed, releasing her grip from the applications, slipping them one after another into the trash. She threw the remaining documents that were in her hand on to her desk, taking a seat as frustration overwhelmed her. Her mind was far from anything work related. _

_"Thinking about Lucas?" a voice said coming from the door._

_Peyton looked up from her desk seeing Haley standing in the doorway with her hand propped up on the side of the doors frame. _

_"Is it that obvious." Peyton replied, wiping away a single tear from her cheek. _

_"Sorry, I kind of overheard you talking to yourself." Haley said while walking over to her. _

_"Am I wrong, Haley, for saying someday? And for wanting us to get our careers in order before settling down?" Peyton questioned. _

_"I think you were right in what you believe…you weren't ready." Haley said. _

_"But I should have been ready. I love Lucas, and I do want to be with him forever." Peyton finished. _

_"If I know Lucas, and I think I know him probably better than anyone, I think that he really loves you, Peyton. He wouldn't give up on you that easily. You just gotta believe that." Haley said leaning in to give Peyton a hug. __Peyton was grateful to Haley that she was available and was willing to lend an ear to her fallacies, because if not for Haley, she would be entirely alone. Usually, it was Brooke who was there for her, but she was too busy because she was away in New York for meetings in regard to her clothing company._

_Haley turned to leave but then turned back around when Peyton started to talk. "Oh, you know I was thinking," Peyton said walking over to Haley and placing both of her hands on the side of Haley's arms, "that I need an artist to sign and was sort of wondering if Haley James Scott was available."_

_"Really?" Haley asked with excitement._

_She hesitated for a moment thinking back to the last time she pursued her music and how much she hurt Nathan. But she knew that this time wouldn't be like that._

_"You know, that would be great. No, that would be awesome; Haley said a smile spreading across her face. "Oh my gosh, thanks so much, Peyton." Haley said embracing Peyton._

_"This means a lot to me, Haley and I know that you're going to be great. I mean you are Haley James Scott, the rock star." Peyton said walking over to her desk to retrieve an application for Haley to fill out._

_"I just need you to fill this out, and bring it back to me when you're done." Peyton said handing her the application._

_"Um, Peyton? This one already has your name on it." Haley said scanning it with her eyes seeing that Peyton had filled in the marital status as married._

_Peyton snatched the document out of Haley's hand."Let me get you another one." Peyton said walking back over to her desk and picking up a blank one._

_"That was just wishful thinking." Peyton said handing her the other application._

_When Haley left a while later, Peyton started to wonder, "Was she the one somehow giving up on Lucas by not saying yes?" She sighed, laying her head down on her desk. She hated having so many regrets on what should have been the happiest day of her life._


	3. Some Things I'll Never Regret

_Chapter 3:__ Some Things I'll Never Regret"_

_And here we go again_

_With all the things you said_

_And not a minute spent_

_To think that we'd regret_

_So we just take it back,_

_These words and hold our breath_

_Forget the things we swore we meant"-Paramore "Here We Go Again"_

_Nathan had everything planned out. He dimmed the lights in the bedroom and lit some vanilla scented candles, scattering some rose petals on the bed and down the hallway leading to their bedroom. Everything was set, now all he had to do was wait for Haley to get home._

_Nathan awoke to the sound of a door slam just outside the house. He must have fallen asleep while waiting for Haley to arrive home from work, and he was thankful that the house hadn't burned down due to the fact that the candles were still lit. That would have definitely ruined the surprise that he had in store for Haley. If she had taught him anything it was responsibility._

_Haley put her key in the lock, turned the doorknob and walked in. The sweet scent of vanilla filled her senses. _

_"Um...hello?" Haley said, confused as to why it was so dark and why the scent of vanilla engulfed her sense of smell. _

_"In here." A voice commanded from the bedroom._

_Haley figured it was Nathan, and immediately made her way to the bedroom._

_"Nathan…did you get a hold of your mom because she left a…" Haley gasped with excitement when she saw all of the rose petals scattered on the floor. Entering the bedroom, she saw Nathan standing by the bed with a bag draped in his hand. _

_"This is just what I needed, after the day that I had today!" Haley proclaimed, smiling at Nathan. _

_"Wait…Jamie?" Haley said surprisingly before Nathan cut her off. _

_"Already taken care of. He's with my mom for the night." Nathan said. _

_"Yeah, because it's definitely too soon for the birds and the bees talk, if you know what I mean." Haley jabbered on, "because he's still my little boy, and soon he's going to be going to college and getting a job and I should really shut up now. _

_"Haley," Nathan said along with a sigh. "He's five." They both went silent, staring at each other. Nathan shot a glance at the bag he was holding, giving Haley the hint. She walked over and grabbed it out of his hands. _

_"It better not be granny panties?" Haley said as she walked in the bathroom and closed the door._

_"Why, because you already have enough of them?" Nathan said jokingly._

_"Do you want to get lucky, Nathan Scott?" Haley declared while reaching her hand in to the bag to release the contents. _

_"Nathan, um… is this some kind of joke? Wait, never mind. I know where this is going." She said understanding what Nathan was trying to conclude. Haley started taking off her clothes and then peeked the bathroom door open. _

_"Alright, I'm coming out, but don't laugh. I knew I shouldn't have eaten that cake at Jamie's' birthday party." Haley said, frustrated_

_She swung the door open revealing her naked body. "Haley, what are you doing?" Nathan gasped at what he saw. "You were supposed to put on what I bought you, but this works for me. There's nothing better than a birthday suit." Nathan said confident that his wife was more beautiful than ever. _

_"Speaking of birthday suit, you are wearing way too many clothes mister," Haley said walking up to Nathan and helping him to take off his shirt._

_He leaned down to kiss her, running his hands down her soft skin, his lips eventually moving to her neck._

_"Ooh Nathan." Haley moaned out softly reaching for his belt buckle._

_Nathan's mind suddenly drifted and something finally started to dawn on him. _

_"Lucas!" Nathan blurted out as Haley suddenly became surprised. _

_"Ew! Wait? What?" Haley backed away and covered herself up. "Lucas?" She said with a puzzling look on her face. _

_"He's here? _

_"No…" but before Nathan could say anything else Haley interrupted. _

_"Wait? Ew? Why are you thinking about Lucas right now?" Haley finished still with a weird look on her face._

_"Hales, when I went over to Lucas' today I am pretty sure that I saw the underwear I bought you in his bed." _

_"Wait, how did my underwear end up in his bed?" Haley said, now more confused than ever. _

_"That's what I want to know." Nathan shot back accusingly. _

_"Oh my God! Are you actually saying what I think your saying?" Haley asked feeling very offended as to why Nathan would accuse her of something like that. _

_"Nathan, for one, I didn't even know that you bought me lingerie and two, the fact that you think I would cheat on you with my best friend who I see as like a brother to me really freaks me out." Haley replied with hurt in her voice as she went into the bathroom slamming the door behind her. _

_"Hales…come on, I am sorry. I didn't mean to accuse you of anything. I was just being stupid. Can you please forgive me?" _

_Haley didn't reply but came out of the bathroom moments later fully dressed. "Nathan I'm sorry too, I think I just need some time to be alone right now, and don't wait up for me I will probably be out late, screwing Lucas." Haley said sarcastically walking out the door, letting it slam behind her._


	4. The Lacy Red Regret

_Chapter 4:__ The Lacey Red Regret_

_I wake up with blood-shot eyes_

_Struggled to memorize_

_The way it felt between your thighs_

_Pleasure that made you cry_

_Feels so good to be bad_

_Not worth the aftermath, after that_

_After that_

_Try to get you back"-Maroon 5 "Makes Me Wonder"_

_"Should I leave you my number?" asked the nameless girl as she buttoned up her shirt while standing in Lucas' room. Lucas knew that this girl was just another lame excuse to forget his feelings for Peyton. But that only lasted as long as alcohol flowed through his system._

_ "Well here's my number, so call me sometime. " Stated the nameless girl as she handed Lucas her number and walked out the door._

_As soon as the girl left, Lucas crumpled up her jotted down number and let it slip into the trash._

_He looked around his room to make sure that none of her possessions were still in his room anywhere. But to his surprise he found something._

_There was another knocking at the door, so Lucas figured that it was the nameless girl realizing that she had forgot something. He picked up the red underwear and opened the door. To his surprise the girl standing there actually had a name. And her name was Haley. _

_"Lucas!" Haley said viewing the lacey red underwear that was dangling between Lucas' fingers. _

_"Haley?" Lucas said, just as surprised as she was to see her underwear. _

_"Wait!" he said, to the nameless girl that had just started walking to her car._

_Lucas walked past Haley and met the girl halfway. _

_"Before you go, I think you forgot this." He said extending his hand out to her to hand her the underwear. _

_"Oh no, that couldn't be mine, because I didn't wear any." The nameless girl said turning around and walking back to her car._

_Before Lucas turned and made his way back into his house he thought that he saw the illumination of brake lights of a car that belonged to someone he used to know. Someone he used to love, but "used to" was just a formality, because that way it made it a little easier for him to think that he was moving on; that he had moved on. His face drooped, and he felt a rush of guilt come over him, as if they were still together, but that was just the hope inside of him that brought forth the desperate notion that they would be together again. Someday._

_Right when Lucas turned around, Haley was right in front of him._

_Before he could say anything a stinging sensation overwhelmed the left side of his face. _

_"What was that for?" Lucas clamored, holding his face as he stared at Haley with frustration._

_"That was for sleeping with a bunch of girls, when you're supposed to be waiting for Peyton." She said sternly. "And I would slap you again, if my hand wasn't throbbing. Oh wait, that's right I have two." She said slapping him with her other hand on his other cheek. _

_"And that was for ruining the night that me and Nathan were supposed to have without any arguing." Haley finished. _

_"Nathan and I!" Lucas scoffed shielding his face, knowing that he was about to get slapped again. _

_"Oh, don't get smart with me Lucas Eugene Scott, this is serious." Haley remarked. _

_"And don't worry; I'm not going to hit you again. Not that you don't deserve it. Plus, my hands are really killing me now." She finished, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into his bedroom. _

_"Ew, Lucas, your room is a mess and what is that smell? Haley said while sniffing at the air. "Skank?"_

_Lucas didn't answer and when Haley turned her eyes to look at him he was looking at something sitting on his desk._

_She followed his eyes and realized what he was staring at. _

_"You know she really misses you Luke. You need to go and see her." Haley remarked with concern in her voice._

_Lucas walked over to his desk and put the picture of Peyton face down. _

_He walked back over to Haley with her underwear still in his hand. _

_"Oh and by the way, why do you have these?" Haley said quickly grabbing them from Lucas' grip. _

_"Honestly Hales, I don't know. I can hardly remember what I did yesterday." Lucas said._

_"Well, I know what you did five minutes ago." Haley remarked, trying not to picture it. _

_"Hey, I would say it was more like thirty minutes." Lucas uttered egotistically. _

_"Eww, Luke…I did not need to know that." She said putting her hands over her face. _

_When Haley took her hands away from her face, she caught a glimpse of something else red on Lucas' bed. She walked over and picked it up, revealing a red bra that Haley assumed went with her matching underwear_

_Just as she picked it up a knocking began at Lucas' door._

_Lucas slowly made his way over to it and opened it._


	5. The Sting of Regret

_Chapter 5:__ The Sting of Regret_

_"There's a pain that sleeps inside_

_It sleeps with just one eye_

_And awakens the moment that you're near_

_Though I try to look away_

_The pain it still remains_

_Only leaving when you're next to me_

_Do you know, that every time you're near_

_Everybody else seems far away_

_So can you come and make them disappear_

_Make them disappear and we can stay."-Hoobastank "Disappear"_

_"Taylor, what are you doing here?" Lucas said with confusion on his face._

"_Don't you remember last night?" she asked sarcastically, biting her lip just as she saw Haley. _

_"Taylor!" Haley said surprisingly._

_"Oh, there it is." Taylor mentioned walking over to Haley. "That's my bra."_

_"How can this be your bra?" asked Haley soon realizing what she meant. "Wait? No, you've got to be kidding me!" Haley burst out. _

_"What, did you think that one Scott brother was enough for me?" Taylor mentioned nonchalantly. "No offence, Nathan was good and all, but I was just missing the other half. I figured my work here wasn't done yet." Taylor remarked. "Oh, and by the way, you have my underwear too." Taylor said snatching the underwear from Haley's hands. _

_"Lucas bought them for me and put them in this cute little bag and everything."_

_Lucas moved to the corner of the room and stayed there, trying not to get involved in this dilemma, as he already had enough drama of his own._

_"Let me guess… was the bag red?" Haley asked the look in her eyes showing that she was becoming frustrated_

_"Yeah, how'd you know?" Taylor inquired becoming confused._

_"The lingerie wasn't for you Taylor, it was a present for me from Nathan. Well at least it was supposed to be." Haley said anger filling her voice once again._

_Lucas quietly made his way over to his bedroom door to try and escape being in the middle of their dilemma._

_But before getting to the door Lucas heard Haley clear her throat. _

_"And where do you think you're going?" Haley said as Lucas froze turning to gaze at both the girls. They're eyes were on him like a hawk scouting out for its prey._

_Lucas stared back._

_"What? I was just going to get some ice for your hands. You did hit me pretty hard Hales." Lucas said. _

_"No, that's okay. I'll just use your heart since it is cold as ice anyways." Haley answered, disappointment filling her eyes._

_"Ouch! That was harsh." Lucas stammered. "Come on, it was a drunken mistake." He finished, walking over to his bedroom door. _

_"Yeah, it kind of was." Taylor said sarcastically sucking in her teeth. "Because Nathan was way…" but before she could finish Haley chimed in. _

_"Don't even say it Taylor, or Lucas might have to get that ice after all." Haley said pointing her finger at Taylor. _

_"Well Taylor James' work here is done." She said talking in the third person. "Oh and Chris Keller says Hi…apparently one James' wasn't enough for him."_

_Haley picked up the lingerie off the floor and threw it at Taylor. _

_"You can have it, because there's no way I am ever wearing them now." Haley said feeling disgusted. "Oh, and Luke. Thanks for the lingerie. At least something was better than the sex." Taylor said making her way to the door but before she walked out she turned around and glanced at Haley. "And one more thing, Nathan es muy bueno en la cama." Taylor finished turning back to walk out the door. _

_"Ugh!" Haley yelped slamming the door behind her. "Why couldn't I have taken German, or Latin." She said realizing that being tutor girl had its disadvantages._

_Haley walked over to Lucas' bed and motioned for him to sit down. _

"_Lucas, what happened? This isn't like you. I was just telling Peyton this morning how you would wait for her." She said putting her hand on his shoulder. "That girls' heart is breaking Luke, and it's like you don't even care anymore."_

_"She said someday Hales, someday, what does that even mean? If she really wanted to marry me don't you think she would have said yes, not someday?" Stated Lucas standing up and pacing around the room._

_"She just needs time." Haley exclaimed giving Lucas that look of concern. _

_"Time for what? To figure out if she loves me or not?" Lucas said raising his voice. _

_"Lucas, if you can't see that, you're blind and you're not the person that I thought you were." Haley said standing up walking towards the door. _

_She opened it and then looked back at him._

_"And my sister…how long has this been going on?" Haley asked stretching her eyebrows upward._

_"Just this once," Lucas said staring at the floor. "When I went outside for that phone call at Jamie's birthday party she was walking up to the door. She could tell something was bothering me so we went in the back door and went upstairs to talk. I think you know how the rest goes."_

_"Yeah, Luke, she has her way with words to get you in bed. Trust me, I know, she's my sister," Haley finished walking out the door, then closing it._

_As Haley left, Lucas collapsed onto his bed. How did everything get so screwed up, he thought to himself. He felt like the world was turning against him and if he didn't slow down soon eventually he would lose himself and everyone he loved._


	6. The Letter of Regret

_Chapter 6:__ The Letter of Regret_

_"The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting_

_Could it be that we have been this way befor_

_I know you don't think that I am trying_

_I know you're wearing thin down to the core_

_But hold your breath_

_Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you_

_Over again."-Secondhand Serenade "Fall For You"_

_Sometimes the simplest of things can be the hardest to figure out. Like, how many times does a person have to say "I Love you" before you actually believe that it's the truth? With Peyton, it only took once. The look in her eyes when she said it gave it away. But the fact that every time someone comes into Peyton's life, somehow they always find a way to leave. Or does she somehow push them away by saying the things that they don't want to hear. Like someday. Instead of saying someday, why not every day? Why not always? So how many times does she have to hear the words "I Love you" for her to let someone in. Maybe it's fate that's interrupting. Maybe fate is trying to carve its way through, so that at the right time, fate is there to fit in its place. But sometimes its set off course, and sometimes it never finds its way back, because at that moment when fate finds you, somehow it takes you by surprise and you reject it. That could be the biggest mistake that you make in your entire life. It could forever alter that euphoric feeling that is supposed to be felt when fate find its way to you._

_Lucas stood in front of his mirror and stared at the person looking back. He remembered the time that his Uncle Keith reprimanded him for getting a tattoo on a drunken whim and telling him to look in the mirror and if the person that was staring back was really the kind of person that he wanted to be. He thought to himself, "Who exactly is this person?" But the feeling he got while looking in the mirror was distant. It was like he didn't even recognize the person staring back. He exchanged his glance from the mirror for a gaze at the picture that sat face down on his desk. Picking it up and turning it over, he saw that the glass on the picture frame had somehow been broken. Maybe this was a sign that he was losing her for good. Maybe this was fate and this time he would choose to accept it._

_Lucas started to pace around in his room. So many thoughts were engulfing his mind that he didn't know what to do. He knew what he should do but somehow he thought that his heart wasn't ready for it. Without thinking about it anymore, Lucas opened his drawer and retrieved the keys to his car. He knew that the only way to face his fear was to attempt to find his own fate. It was staring right at him through the broken picture frame that sat upright on his desk. _

_Peyton stood there, hesitant whether to knock, with the letter that she had written perched in her hand. The letter was addressed to Lucas telling him how she felt. She knew that she should just tell him everything in person but somehow it just seemed easier to write it in a letter. Plus, she was scared to face him in fear that he might not feel the same anymore. It had been a month since they last talked, so Peyton didn't know where they stood…or even if they stood at all. She couldn't even remember the last time she was in front of Lucas' door, and didn't know whether she wanted to. She slowly raised her hand up to the door but before knocking, she wondered if it would be better to just slip the letter that she had written under the door. Peyton thought that avoiding confrontation would be the best thing to do, because the moment that she looked in his eyes, the moment her heart would break all over again. She took her hand away from the door and started to turn away. But instead, without thinking about it anymore, she turned around and knocked on Lucas's door. She waited, her eyes started to drift back and forth, and the fingers on her left hand tapped the side of her leg. Her lips became pursed and she impatiently started to bite the side of her cheek. She knocked again, this time a little softer, because did she really want him to open the door? "Maybe this was a mistake," she thought to herself. But still, there was no answer. After a while of waiting she turned to leave but noticed that Lucas' bedroom window was open. She walked over to it, leaned in, and placed the letter on Lucas' nightstand._

_"Peyton, I know you're in there," Lucas yelled as he knocked on the door and continued to do so. But in fact, what he didn't know was that she wasn't there and at this very moment, she was doing the same thing over at his house. Lucas stopped knocking as his arm was getting tired from being suspended in the air from knocking at her door for so long. He turned away from the door slumping himself down, and sitting on the steps that were in front of her house placing his head in his hands. He suddenly thought to himself "was fate somehow telling him that their destinies for each other somehow changed that night in the hotel when Peyton said "someday". Or was him disappearing and leaving her behind the ripple in their relationship. And was there any way to change the past to distinguish the regret that Lucas had for the future." Lucas finally stopped pondering and stood up realizing that maybe this time he couldn't save his relationship with Peyton. But that was the thing, how can he, if he can't even save himself? Lucas walked back to his car, opened his glove compartment and took out a piece of scrap paper that was in there, then scrambled his hand around under the passenger seat for a pen. What he was about to do would change the future that he longed for, but could spare the heart ache for both of them._

_After writing down everything that he wanted to say, he folded up the letter and placed it on the knob, leaning it against the door. As he walked away, he looked back suddenly remembering that this wasn't the first time he left a note on her door. And this time, he hoped that it would actually be read, rather than burnt._

_Lucas arrived home after going to see Peyton, and noticed that he left his bedroom window open. He was hoping that nobody had snuck in while he was gone and stole some things that were worth something. Lucas put his key in the doorknob and swung the door open. He looked around and everything seemed to be in its right place. Even the money that he left on his night stand was still present, so if anybody had broken in, that money would most likely be in somebody else's wallet. But the thing that was missing from his night stand was the letter that Peyton had written. _

_The entire drive home from Lucas', Peyton clutched her steering wheel as if she should turn around and go back. But inside she knew that seeming too desperate might queue Lucas to cascade into another one of his "moving to another town to start over" phases. But they haven't talked in over a month and Peyton hated how everything in her life just seemed so uncertain._

_As Peyton arrived home she saw that Brooke had just gotten home and was carrying her luggage into the house. As Brooke walked out of the house she saw Peyton getting out of her car. _

_"I'm so glad to be home. I've missed you P Sawyer." Brooke said enthusiastically walking over and wrapping her arms around Peyton, welcoming her with a warm-hearted hug. _

_"I've missed you too, B Davis." Peyton declared, embracing Brooke and squeezing her in relief that she was back. _

_"I'm kind of disappointed though, I mean no "Welcome Home, Brooke" banner?" Brooke stated sarcastically realizing that Peyton's' smile was not very exuberant. _

_"Okay, the hug was good enough." Brooke said cheerfully. "And I know I was only gone for three days. But do you know that I know there's a frown hiding behind that smile, Peyton." __Brooke finished waiting for her to fill her in on the details. _

_"I'm sorry Brooke. It's just that things seemed so certain a month ago." Peyton said as her eyes started tearing up. _

_"You mean when Lucas asked you to marry him?" Brooke asked. _

_"Okay, a month and one day ago." Peyton stated realizing that a month ago was when her life seemed most uncertain. _

_"Speaking of Lucas, when I got home there was a letter on the door and it had your name on it. I put it on the table. But before you burn it make sure that it's not money." Brooke finished, reaching for the last suitcase that was in her trunk._

_Peyton's heart suddenly changed its pace, feeling as if it was about to beat out of her chest. She started to follow Brooke in to the house but hesitated, realizing that this letter could either mend her wounded heart or break it for good. _

_Peyton closed the front door and slowly made her way to the kitchen giving her enough time to decide whether she wanted to read the letter. So many thoughts were filling her mind, and burning it was one of them. But her dilemma was whether or not the words in the letter were going to agree with her heart. She finally reached the kitchen, and approached the table hesitantly as if somehow the letter would disappear like all the people in her life. Peyton picked up the letter and made her way to her bedroom where the fate of her heart was sealed within the words that Lucas wrote. She walked in closing the door behind her. The tearing of the envelope was heard beyond the door as Peyton slipped the letter from the envelope, unfolding it with her hands. Her eyes punctured the words and this is what she read…_

_"Peyton,"I will never forget the first time that I saw you when you almost ran me over with your car. Right then, I knew that there was something about you that felt right. I don't know if it was your curly hair or the way that you looked so tragic listening to your music, but the look that you gave to me was kind of like you were calling out to me that you needed saving, without even saying it. Who knew that it would have actually been me that was there for you during the hard times in your life? But now we both need saving and I don't think that I can be the one to save you this time. By asking you to spend the rest of your life with me was my way of saving you for good. But somehow that wasn't enough and you rejected it. This time I feel like I have to start saving myself, since it was you who could have saved me by accepting my proposal. But since things have been awkward between us, I thought fate was calling out to me to try and salvage this broken relationship that we're in. But I think it has just led me to believe that somehow my fate is not what I thought it was. Or who I thought it was with. Tree Hill used to feel like home, but I think my time here is overdue. I'm not saying that I'll never come back, but I think for now a new place without you is what could save me._

_ P.S. TLSomeday_

_Lucas"_

_Peyton felt the tears welling up in her eyes as she finished reading. Suddenly she felt like the tables had turned. She was finally ready but now he wasn't. Was he somehow saying that it was simply over; that everything that they ever had or felt for each other was all for nothing? No, she couldn't accept that. She loved him with every fiber of her being and she wasn't going to give up on him, on them. "He has to come to the rivercourt tonight", she thought to herself, clinging to what little faith she had left. She slowly took a deep breath and wiped away the tears that were sliding down her cheek, placing the letter on her bed stand. She tried to convince herself that the letter that she had just read didn't exist. It was just full of Lucas' insecurities and his fear to feel the immensity of love. But Peyton's fear of people leaving just made everything more complicating. If she could get over that, then Lucas could face his fears too._


	7. The Clock Ticks Regret

_Chapter 7__: The Clock Ticks Regret _

_"Superstitions aren't meant for lovers_

_Under covers, undiscovered is your skin_

_I am lonely, please let me in_

_You're probably wondering what I was proving_

_Are you choosing?_

_Am I losing you tonight?_

_Is it over, over?_

_Are we fading?_

_I never wanted anything the way that I want you_

_But my words don't seem to matter_

_My words don't seem to matter_

_And you look at me and I can see_

_The lies you're running to_

_But my words don't seem to matter_

_I'd rather have you tested and true_

_I'm scared we'll fall apart tonight_

_Under the moonlight_

_Under the moonlight  
I'm scared we'll never make it right_

_Under the moonlight_

_Under the moonlight_

_Take my hand and hold it tight  
Hold it tight"-Secondhand Serenade "Tested and True_"

_The lamp on Peyton's dresser flickered, followed by the roaring sound of thunder in the distance. She got up out of her bed and walked toward the window, seeing streaks of lightning striking the ground, followed by another loud rumble. Every time the thunder crashed, the entire house would vibrate, and all the windows would clatter. This is how Peyton felt inside; a constant storm that never seemed to break. But tonight she just might find that calmness that her heart has been longing for. _

_**Eleven thirty**. Peyton read the numbers on the clock that sat on her bed stand. She had thirty minutes to prepare her heart for another time of breaking, or the reconstruction of the broken that it endured in the past couple months. She sat motionless on her bed, breathing in and out trying to gather her thoughts and find the strength to face her fear. Her hands sat in her lap and she constantly rubbed them together, going through Lucas' words in her head. The words that she hoped would flow out of his mouth with ease. The words that she wanted to hear. The words of giving in and embracing the love that was always meant to be. And finally giving in to their fate that was obvious, but seemed to always be in shambles._

_Peyton's frozen gaze was interrupted by a sudden knocking at her bedroom door. _

_"Hey P, you in there?" Brooke said, her voice sounding muggy behind the door. _

_"You can come in." Peyton said, the words sounding a bit strained._

_Brooke opened the door and went to sit next to her on the bed. _

_"Sounds like it's going to be a stormy night," Brooke said as she walked over to sit next to Peyton._

_"Well I guess we'll see." Peyton murmured, actually referring to whether or not Lucas would show up at the river court._

_Another loud rumble cracked through the air making Brooke jump._

_"Whoa, okay. I'm kind of scared." Brooke said taking Peyton's arm and wrapping it around herself._

_"Me too, Brooke," Peyton said leaning her head down and resting it on Brooke's shoulder. But Peyton's fear did not involve loud sounds and bright lights. Her fear was more of words. Lucas' words to be exact._

_"Well anyway, I just wanted to make sure you were alright, because if you weren't I have ears." Brooke said looking at Peyton with concern._

_"Yeah, I'm alright." She said, hopefully sounding convincing, because Peyton didn't want to pile on to Brooke's problems even though she knew Brooke really cared and would listen to whatever she had to say. "At least I hope I will be." Peyton thought to herself wiping away another tear that edged its way down her sullen face. She took another glance at the clock. **Eleven forty-five.** Peyton's heart started to flutter due to the nervousness that was dwelling inside of her. She wanted so much to believe that tonight her "someday" would finally begin tonight. She stood up, retrieved the keys to her car and walked to the closet to get one of her drawings that she recently drew. _

_"Um, P, it's almost midnight." Brooke said, puzzled._

_ "Don't remind me." She mumbled back, the look in her eyes filling with anxiety with every tick of the clock. _

_"I have somewhere to be. I shouldn't be long." Peyton said reassuringly so Brooke wouldn't feel the need to wait up until she arrived back home._

_"Okay, just be careful." Brooke said eyeing Peyton with concern. _

_"I will." She said holding up a canister of pepper spray. "You know, just in case." _

_"Well, yeah, that too, but I also meant with your heart." Brooke finished turning to Peyton before she walked out of the door._

_Peyton grabbed her car keys off of her dresser and walked to her bedroom door. Just as she placed her hand on the knob, she remembered that she was forgetting one thing; the painting that she wanted to give to Lucas. Hopefully it would make him realize how much she meant to him, and that she had never stopped missing him since they last talked. She went and grabbed the envelope that held the painting and made her way to her car._

_**Eleven fifty**. Just outside of Lucas' house thunder clashed through the air and the rain started to downpour. Lucas quickly retrieved his suitcase from his closet and placed it beside all of his folded clothes that sat splayed on the bed ready to be placed in the suitcase. He walked to his bedroom window, moving the curtain to see outside. The rain was coming down full force now, everything seeming like a blur. The way Lucas saw his life looked similar to the blurriness outside; everything just seeming so uncertain. He thought that if he wanted to get out of here tonight, he'd have to pack quickly to make it past the "Tree Hill Bridge," before it flooded out, or there was no escaping Tree Hill tonight. He walked back to his bed and unzipped the suitcase, folding it open, revealing a small box that was sitting inside. Lucas picked it up, opened it, and took the contents out of the box. He sorted through them and found all the different things that Peyton had given him. From drawings, to letters, to tear stains on letters; all of these things that she had given him came from her heart. He stood and pondered and thought, "Everything is so clear on paper, why can't love be like that too." Lucas walked back over to his closet and placed the box back with the contents still inside, because this time he was taking his heart with him. Everything that he needed was finally tightly packed into the suitcase. He zipped it up, but had to actually rest his knee on it to get it securely fastened. Lucas grabbed the suitcase, but before walking out of the door, he caught a glimpse of a picture of his Uncle Keith and remembered when he did this exact same thing; when he ran away from his own heart to avoid seeing the person that rejected it, because seeing that one person brought on a constant breaking of the body's strongest muscle. It's ironic though, the heart being the strongest muscle, when in these moments of breaking it feels like the weakest. History always seemed to have a way of repeating itself in Tree Hill. Lucas turned out the lights, closed the door and decided that he had one more person to see before he left for good. This person could only listen, because he left for good too; just in a different way._

_**Eleven Fifty-Five**. Peyton pulled up to the river court and turned off the engine, but there was no sign of Lucas yet. "He'll show up; he has to," she thought to herself, deciding to wait in the car since the rain was coming down so hard. Looking around the river court, she began to reminisce back to the first game that Lucas and Nathan played here back when they were rivals. She could remember before the game Nathan telling her that if Lucas won, then he would get her. Ironically Lucas won so even then, their future seemed inevitable_

_**Eleven Fifty-Five**. Since the storm was picking up, Lucas decided that going to see his Uncle Keith would not be the best idea right now. Rain was already starting to flood the road as Lucas drove past the cemetery, so he doubted that he would be able to get past the bridge before it flooded out. The lightning was getting fiercer and the thunder seemed to be getting louder with every strike that hit the ground. Lucas switched his wiper speed to the highest setting, but still had a hard time seeing through the maddening downpour. He slowed his speed and tried to concentrate on the road, when he saw flashing red and blue lights just up ahead. He knew that he was too late and that the bridge was already underwater. Lucas figured that fate was once again trying to show him that Tree Hill still had something for him; even when it seemed like everything there was out of control. He turned his car around, flipped on the radio and headed back in to Tree Hill. Somehow fate always had a way of finding him, and this time it came through a song._

_"Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope_

_I'm wrapped up in vines_

_I think we'll make it out_

_But you just gotta give me time_

_Strike me down with lightning_

_Let me feel you in my veins_

_I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain_

_Today is a winding road that's taking me to places that I didn't want to go."_

_-Boys Like Girls "Thunder" _

_Eleven fifty eight: "Will Lucas show up? Peyton asked herself as she turned on the radio, as if it was a magic eight ball and could tell the future... _

_"Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer_

_Do you know you're unlike any other?_

_You'll always be my thunder, and I said_

_Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors_

_I don't wanna ever love another_

_You'll always be my thunder_

_And bring on the thunder, and I said_

_Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer_

_Do you know you're unlike any other?_

_You'll always be my thunder_

_So bring on the rain_

_Oh baby bring on the pain_

_And listen to the thunder"_

_-Boys Like Girls "Thunder"_

_The lyrics to the song spoke to her and gave her that hope that she needed to actually believe that Lucas was going to show up. She glanced at the clock in her car; **eleven fifty-nine**. She looked up from her dashboard and saw the illumination of lights in the distance. Butterflies slowly filled her stomach as she watched the lights impatiently wondering if those lights would come her way. The lights got closer as her heart beat rapidly. The butterflies reached the top of her stomach but then flew away, as Peyton saw the lights disappear in to the darkness._

_When Lucas arrived back home he turned on the light and placed the suitcase by the door, because by tomorrow the bridge would be clear, and he could try his departure again. He walked over to his night stand where he placed his keys and cell phone. Lucas then edged his feet out of his shoes and placed them under his bed, but before doing that he hesitated. There was a piece of paper lying on the floor directly under his bed. He picked it up and unfolded it in his hands then sat on the bed. His eyes met the words and this is what he read…_

_"Lucas,_

_"There have been many times in my life when I have doubted the love that we share. I have been so afraid to tear down these walls that are blocking me from the pain that somehow always has a way of finding me. Because misery really loves company, and I sure carry a lot of that baggage around. People always leave and after I lost you I realized that it was me pushing you away. I know that my answer was "someday" but someday is now and "someday" was then too. I was just scared of making a future with you when everything in my life was falling apart, and I didn't want "us" to be just another casualty that would crash and burn, all because of the resentment that we might feel toward each other for missing out on opportunity. I know that I have made some mistakes in my life, but none as big as this. I am now ready to have everything with you. If you feel the same meet me at the river court, midnight. This river court used to be your world, now it's time that it should be a part of mine. Now we can have it all."_

_P.S. TLA_

_Peyton"_

_**Twelve oh-five**. The storm outside continued, but had died down over the past half hour. The rain was still pounding the ground, leaving puddles everywhere. After Lucas finished reading the letter he knew exactly what he had to do. He had to face this one person that he had been running from in the past couple months. Lucas realized that he was hiding his heart from the person that needed it the most. He had saved Peyton in the past, but now it seemed that she needed saving from Lucas. Because he was the cause of all her pain this time, and that thought didn't sit well in Lucas' stomach. He once again retrieved his keys and cell phone from the night stand, slipped on his shoes and made his way to the river court._


	8. The Love of Regret

_Chapter 8:__ The Love of Regret_

_"So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you._

_and maybe two is better than one._

_but there's so much time, to figure out the rest in my life_

_and you've already got me coming undone_

_and i'm thinking two is better than one"_

_Boys Like Girls - "Two is Better than One"_

_While in the car, Lucas started to wonder if he was going to be too late. He wondered how long Peyton would wait for him before she left the river court. Rain continued to pound his windshield, as his tires splashed through the puddles in the road. He accelerated, increasing his speed, because the sooner that he caught up to fate, the sooner the cosmos would finally let two peoples' love for each other collide. _

_Lucas finally reached the river court, but there was no sign of Peyton or her car. His shoulders drooped and his steering wheel absorbed all of his anger when Lucas started to hit it in frustration. He figured that he was too late, and knew that this had to mean something. Was their undying love for each other somehow dying, simply because fate was sending them the signs that they needed at the wrong time? The fact that Lucas left his window open, allowed Peyton to set the letter that she wrote to him on his night stand, but the wind had blown it underneath his bed, leaving Lucas to find it when it was already too late. But if he hadn't left his window open, would he have ever gotten the letter to begin with? And the time when Lucas and Peyton both went to see each other at the same exact time? Or were these twists of fate somehow setting them up, so that when they did finally unite as one, it would make their reunion a stronger and even greater one._

_Lucas left his car in idle and sat, trying to get his thoughts together before going home. He gazed around the river court, remembering the time that he got in to that car accident and Peyton drew the flaming heart right in the center of the river court with his jersey number in it. He remembered how much he wanted to be with her then, and how hard it was for her to visit him there when Peyton's mother died in a car accident in that very hospital. Frustration overwhelmed him and the thought of surrendering to the truth dawned on him. Lucas really did love Peyton, but he was becoming so tired of chasing her that giving up was his only and last option; his heart couldn't take much more, and Lucas knew that Peyton's' couldn't either._

_Peyton slowed her speed as she switched her windshield wipers to the highest setting being that it was raining harder than ever. She menacingly wiped away the tears that were falling rapidly down her cheek. If Lucas were here she knew that he would gently make them disappear as he had so many times before, but she knew that relying on that would just make matters worse than they already were. She continued to drive through the massive downpour avoiding the puddles that were slowly conquering the road. She was growing tired of the radio, so she flipped the driver's side visor down revealing some CD's. She quickly looked through them, postponing her gaze at them to look at the road, but it was too late. Her car had hit a stream of water that was crawling across the road. Peyton gripped the steering wheel with both hands and pressed down on the break as hard as she could, but her tires lost all their traction due to the slick terrain of asphalt that now seemed like a patch of black ice. Her car started to lose control so she quickly resorted to turning the steering wheel to try and reverse the affect but before she knew it her car was off the road and was headed straight for a telephone pole._


End file.
